We define ourselves in many different ways, and whatever it is that defines us speaks to others on our behalf. Our definition of self goes out before us and is able to speak volumes in a few words and even fewer actions. When I tell someone that I am a _______, specific definitions of a _______ pop into their mind and they then tie those definitions to me. And so on and so forth as I acknowledge my racial background (Hispanic, Asian, African), my birth place (Norway, India, Japan), my neighborhood (South Central L.A., Brooklyn, The Hamptons), my possessions (money, talents, looks), my goals (astronaut, entertainer, teacher), my beliefs (about God, about myself, about the world, about the government), etc. As I acknowledge these things about myself, I am giving those around me information by which to define me.
The information that I give them gets filtered through their perceptions (n awareness of one’s environment) and through their definitions (n the statement of the meaning of something) that they already have within their mind. This can be either good or bad, however, we should not be concerned with whether or not they think we’re good or bad; our concern should be with whether or not their perceptions and definitions concerning us are based on the truth and not on lies.
Since our perceptions (the way we see the world) and our definitions (the way we interpret the world) are based on our life’s experiences; it is not simply the truth, but it is the way we experience the truth that determines our perceptions and our definitions. To us, our perceptions and definitions are always the right ones, always the truth. But the reality is that while the experience is real, it is not always true, and while what we believe may be our truth, it is not always fact (n something that exists or occurs).
Here’s an example: One day you are walking into school and you witness two students arguing aggressively outside. As you pass through the doorway the last thing you see is them pushing and shoving one another. So you immediately go and get help. But when you take them outside to break up the fight, the two students who were just arguing, pushing, and shoving each other are now talking calmly, smiling at each other, and laughing together. You promise the people you brought to help that you saw those two students fighting each other just a second ago, and they try to figure out why you would lie about something like that for no apparent reason. So what happened? What did you see, or not see? You did see two students arguing and fighting, but what you didn’t know is that they were rehearsing a scene in a stage play for their theater club project. The difference here is between your truth and the truth.
It’s just that easy to mistake an illusion for reality, and to, if only for a moment, make that illusion the reality for someone else (the people coming to help) until the truth is revealed. Revelation (n an act of revealing; an enlightening or astonishing disclosure).
Mistaking a lie for the truth is a common occurrence in life so we just have to do our best to be as informed as possible, to always remember that we may not have all the necessary information about a given situation available to us, to recognize that the only thing that is constant is change, and that good intentions do not always create good outcomes and visa versa.
Now, we can not control the people and circumstances that cross our paths, but we can control ourselves. So what do we do when it comes to fighting the battle between what is perceived to be true about us and what really is true about us? We reveal the truth about ourselves to those around us. And the more truth I reveal, the more people will see me for who I really am and not for whom they perceive me to be. The answer seems simple, but it gets tricky when we attempt to turn a feeling into a phrase, a smell into a stanza, and a concept into an experience.
· What if I want to tell people the truth about who I am, except – I don’t know who I am?
· How can I define that for which I do not know the meaning?
· How can I express what I truly stand for if I don’t know what things make me stand up?
If you are at the place in your life where you are realizing that you need to define yourself to yourself so you can define yourself to others, then I’ll tell you what was told to me when I was in your place: Start with your passion (n an object of affection or enthusiasm). Look at what you’re excited about, at what “moves” you deep down inside. List all the things you don’t just like to do, but love to do. Things you would all day or at least most of it. Ask yourself questions like “What kind of job could I do everyday without pay if my needs (and a few of my wants) would be taken care of?” You can’t look outside of yourself for the answers to what is on the inside. It is good to ask people who know you what they think, but all they are doing is speculating. They are just telling you what they perceive. Only you truly know what is going on inside of your mind –inside your heart. (From B.MORE Music Curriculum)
